the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
