Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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