oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
