I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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