Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Randomize
