i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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