Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
