She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
