lets start a swedish sibling band together
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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