my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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