I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
