There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Terrible idea I love it
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize