soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
