Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
