just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
