So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
