Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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