she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
