At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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