Buhtt sex?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
