the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
