Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
