brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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