it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize