dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
