Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
