Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
