So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
