you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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