Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize