You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
handjob tips. give me some.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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