every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
