Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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