Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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