Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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