Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
