you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
