In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
