she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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