Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
