And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
