is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize