what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
