i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
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