is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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