There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
