After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize