literally had 100 drinks last night.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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