Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You need a sexual gate keeper
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
