would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
