and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
