It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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