I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
