Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
