Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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