Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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