laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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