The brown eye won't let me do that either.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize