Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
