i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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