There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
