Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
