Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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