Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
