doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
