My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Randomize
