Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
